Focus On... Darlington

SMBU soccer historian Paul Hunchback looks back at connections between Darlington and Wanderers ahead of tomorrow’s game.

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Jimmy Chill
King James I of England once rapped [NB: not rapped, it was 380 years too early] of Darlington: “Darnton has a bonny, bonny church, With a broach upon the steeple, But Darnton is a mucky, mucky town, And mair sham on the people”. Less well known is his rhyming on High Wycombe: “Chepping Wycombe oh what a place, I go there late to get offe my face. Ye can drink and dance and whoop for weeks but pray watch out for Sheriff Beeks.”

Training Match
When the world’s first railway line opened in the Darlington region and a train went up and down it and back up again, Wycombe decided to challenge Darlington to a celebratory exhibition match and sent up a crack side to play the local club. Sadly, a delivery of strong opium had come into Buckinghamshire that week and the players and management panel overindulged on the long trip north. The disgraceful scenes culminated with Wanderers’ inside-left Bryan Adams vomiting copiously over George Stephenson. It was a national scandal and just weeks later parliament voted to approve a law that guaranteed in perpetuity that anyone getting the train from High Wycombe to London would have to run 250 yards down and up a tunnel at high speed in order to catch it. “The wicked beggars of Wickham [sic] will sweat out their opium and they shall dry in the holy sun”, said someone at the time.

Bearded Terror
Real Ale maniacs flock to Darlington every year to attend the famous Rhythm'n'Brews real ale festival which at least gets them off the streets for a bit I suppose. Buckinghamshire tipples making the trip north for the 2008 event include Unnamed Dog Skull, Len King’s Ale for Toddlers, Hedgefucker, Princeton University’s Patent Powdered Milkshake, Sausage In A Wet Pint Glass, Horny Spitfire Pilot’s Courage and Zeebrugge. To qualify for the festival, an ale has to prove that it is 98% water with some mud put in for colour.

07.03.2008. 14:33

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