Drool In The Crown

Eric Plant

Wycombe Wanderers 0 Rochdale 1

Rochdale at home; enough to put the spring in anyone’s step. This one’s been designated an ‘old school’ day out, and with that in mind a band of hardy souls congregate at the one which used to be Finn McCoul’s circa midday. The surly youth behind the bar sports a mixture of surprise and annoyance that he has patrons to serve, but we know our rights. We are 21st century Wycombe fans – aka ‘The Customer’.

A short time passes and The Doctor arrives. Our “tidy little firm” is fully “mobbed up”, but violence is not on our agenda. Wine, whimsy and song is what we seek and we’re well on our way. Conversation takes its usual course. It’s reassuring. However much things change, and however much they are going to change, some things stay the same. Goon loses marks for attempting to recite an anti government spiel he has read but forgetting Peter Hain’s name. Politics divide us but there are some things on which we can all agree. Tommy Doherty is a bearded legend for one. The currently available Ivor Beeks sponsorship opportunity – “he sits on our table at the end of season dinner right?” – is another. But time, much like this paragraph, goes on, and it is soon time to form smaller crack units for our assault on Adams Park. A look of horror spreads across The Doctor’s face as he realises that there are 3 passengers destined for the back of his hot hatch. Not to worry, he greases up the door frame with a handily placed tub of margarine and they are eased in. What’s this though? Who the Gregory still has unopened Christmas presents 2 weeks into the New Year? This is soon rectified, and despite the protestations from the back that they might have included a pen or a key fob, the Goon seems pleased enough.

Onto Adams Park, dodging WWISC car park attendants on the way and we reach our destination. Just enough time for one in Scores before the main event. Some people are brave enough to try a new concoction – Turborgg or something – and it seems to do the trick. It’s time for the big one. What the fuck’s happened to the pitch? Someone remarks that it looks like there has been some sort of ploughing championship held there, and it’s hard to disagree. It’s Rochdale that settle down the quicker, keeping the ball well and coming forward when they can. It’s easy to see why their away record is so good. Our much vaunted midfield looks out of sorts. I gather that conditions at Tuesday’s splendid win at Mansfield were appalling, and I think they’ve taken their toll.

Half time brings the respite of the penalty competition. “Kick it in the corner!” I shout helpfully after the first few feeble attempts. It works. Not one is missed after that. Maybe this coaching lark isn’t so difficult after all. As we feared, the second half continues in the same vein as the first, but maybe even more so. Oakes and Knight are introduced and little Leon looks lively. But Rochdale continue to look the more likely winners. Never mind though, you always get game like this; we’ll take a point and move on. Then, as pub time draws ever closer the aptly named Woodman………...wait for it………....”chops” down his man in the area, the inevitable penalty is dispatched and that’s it. The game is lost but hope is not. Five wins, a draw and a loss from seven games is still an excellent record, and it’s better to lose a game you might have drawn, than to draw a game you might have won.

Certain of our number are seduced by talk of private members terracing and we bid them farewell, only to reconvene later on. I dare say that a detailed report of the Scores event will be forthcoming at some point but suffice it to say that the suggestion that this very website is renamed SMBU – Sandwiches May Bankrupt Us, is described by neutral onlookers as “hilarious banter”

Yet more Gasroom glitterati join the merry throng and the last port of call is the simply marvellous Bombay Palace. As conversation buzzes and banter is exchanged over complimentary brandy and whisky, I reflect that after all these years, I still love going to football.

Quite often the match is alright as well.

15.01.2008. 18:14

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