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Floyd The Barber

FA Cup 1st Round Proper
Wycombe Wanderers 1 Swindon Town 2

Use just once and destroy

Swindon? Really? Do we have to? We play them every couple of months as it is…I want Ware, Barrow, Harrogate Railway, Chasetown…anyone! Anyone but that lot.

Anyway, Swindon it was, a fixture lacking the promise of any class or heart since the Moonman barked his way back up the M6. I’m reliably informed that the backroom staff were pleased with the draw, thinking it would be a great fixture for the club. Perhaps that sums up nicely all that’s wrong with Wycombe Wanderers at the moment. It’d been the best part of a month since I’d been to a home game, and I was, inexplicably, looking forward to it, drawn like a hungry moth to a false flame, eastward across the Thames with an expectant heart…

Hilbottom Road and already I was beginning to lose the fight. Red lottos everywhere, blue quarters sparse. The ‘magic of the cup’ was in short supply. I picked my way through the circus laden carpark, noting that, finally, there were more photos of Wycombe players than Wasps on the club shop, and into the ground. The Valley end was gassy, whingy, expectant, on the turn. Quiet in both senses of the word. As the teams came out I whispered to myself ‘Oxford, Wolves, Milwall, Fulham’ trying to block out memories of Brentford and Northampton at home in this very competition… Unsuccessfully.

Second rate third degree burns

And the first half…well, did it happen at all? A smorgasbord of misplaced passes, offside shouts and injured captains. We might have had s hot, they might have had a handball shout. ‘underwhelming’ It’s like watching another team these days. Half time saw the Beard stride on the ignore questions and draw tickets. It’ll be good to have him back in the side. Even if in our 34 man squad we have about 20 midfielders. ‘Details’. In the second half something odd happened. It got exciting for a time. McGleish could have had one, Sergio caused them problems, the Valley End made some noise. And then there’s Tom Williams, there’s Christian Roberts, and the net ripples. In our hearts we knew that was it. And then it was two. Great, lovely, just the job. Outdone by their subs. The FA Cup done for another year. Suddenly Lambert’s plan of playing one up front didn’t look so nifty. It had worked quite well up till now, but at two nil, no one expected anything. No cutting edge, little flair, little imagination, little of anything to stir the sub 4000 crowd. But football’s a cruel mistress, and due to some non communicative defending the ball was poked home. Do I really want a replay I thought, as we tried to grab another. In the end I was never asked the question, the front two failed to make anything work, free kicks were wasted, passes went backwards, whistles blew. League 2 here we come.

This had nothing to do with what you think

I spoke to the Goon après-game, a man who had his finest hour in this competition just three short years ago. He was, he tells me, accosted by a steward on Hillbottom Road at 12.20 and asked ‘where he thought he was going’. A leitmotif if ever there was one.

12.11.2007. 09:20

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