If Hollywood Don't Need You (Honey I Still Do)

Other than home advantage and the right to wear gold socks at Wembley, there seems little riding on Wycombe’s last two league games of the season. The sun is due to be out tomorrow so most people are excited about the Brill Hill end of April Festival, where the annual dog slaughter is promising to be the biggest yet. [Incidentally, if anyone’s lost a guide dog, they’ve got 18 hours to get in touch].

Continue Reading... Comments (0) 25.04.2008. 10:08

Superabundance

Here in the Meat Clinic spring is coming and we’re trawling around the central Bucks fields at night with infra-red pistols, picking out the lambs we’re going to slaughter with venom. Did they ask to be killed? Yes they did, their arrogant faces mew with desire for a 12-bore in the muzzle. Spring also means the football season heats up like a can of condensed milk chucked on an open fire with cans of Lynx.

Continue Reading... Comments (1) 11.03.2008. 12:17

Jumble Sale Mums

It must be tough for many Wycombe supporters as the team grind out vital wins against promotion rivals such as Rotherham and Rochdale. There is a seething mass of naysayers just waiting for Wanderers to slip up so they can infest the gasroom abusing the manager and demanding mortal action because a substitution didn’t quite work in the way it was supposed to be.

Continue Reading... Comments (0) 23.02.2008. 18:28

Get Innocuous

Football can set people off on unexpected journeys, the roads as confusing and unsignposted as the lane linking the People’s Republic of Brill Hill with the scum in Ludgershall. Think of Jermain Defoe and Leon Knight, who played in the same team as youngsters. Both scored their first goals for their new sides today, though the former was facing the richest team in Europe while the latter was facing Accrington Stanley.

Continue Reading... Comments (5) 02.02.2008. 17:10

Help The Aged

The news that Neil Lennon has signed for Wycombe Wanderers has sent shudders around the Meat Clinic, as recent cries for the Chairboys to try and control their uncontrollable debt seem to have fallen on deaf ears. The Managing Director may claim that no player earns more than a tenner a week (and an all you can eat buffet in the Vere Suite) but it seems that Wycombe’s midfield wage bill is now a larger fiscal burden than the British Government’s overseas aid package, and with little of the grainy kudos.

Continue Reading... Comments (1) 31.01.2008. 21:41

I Can Hear Your Heart

So Jonny Dixon has signed for Brighton from Aldershot, one of what must be nearly 100,000 WWFC youth products who, after being deemed not good enough by men in stained tracksuits at Adams Park, have made the grade elsewhere.

Continue Reading... Comments (1) 30.01.2008. 23:54